Real

The title of this post should actually be 'Reality Check' ... but i thought that sounded too harsh. We recently had a little Relief Society activity last week on journaling. We were visiting and chatting about different methods of journaling and blogging came up. One of the sisters was telling us about some blogs that she really loved because the people were real. They didn't sugar coat their lives, they didn't make them selves up to be this perfect mom with the perfect kids, perfect life, perfect pictures, perfect craftiness ect. It got me thinking as to how i'm portraying myself on my blog. So I'm about to become a wee bit vulnerable. No -i'm not going to tell you my deepest darkest secrets, no -this isn't a pity party. This is just me. Real. Raw. Me

I've always been a busy person. Lucky enough to do all the extracurricular activities that i wanted. A kazillion dance classes, piano lessons, violin lessons, voice lessons, cheerleading, theatre productions, girls choir, ect. I think it's fair to say that i was good at all those things. I unfortunately never focused all my energy on one thing so i don't feel that i reached my full potential in any of those areas. I'm almost 23 years old and i still think to myself, I'm going to be a ballerina when i grow up.. and a broadway star, and make a CD, and be a movie star for disney,and and and. I want to be an amazing blogger, dancer, violinist, pianist, photographer, shopper, cook. I'd like to be a high school English teacher some day.... I have a pet peeve when people make grammatical errors and confuse words like 'to,' 'too,' and 'two' and 'there,' they're,' and 'their.' Yet i make such mistakes often enough myself. Hypocrite!  I want to be the perfect mom with the perfect kids and the perfect life.
The start of my 'realization' process began a couple weeks ago. Laundry. There's always so much laundry, the house is always a mess, there're always dishes to be washed. I realized one day that, that will never end. There will always be clothes to be washed, dishes to be washed, a house to clean. I'm currently not a very good house keeper - i'm a lazy sack of bones. A friend of mine had an incredible Facebook status a while ago.. it said something along the lines of being grateful for the piles of laundry because it means she has clean clothes to dress her kids in. She's grateful for the pile of dishes in her sink and on her counter because it means her kids have good food to eat. She's grateful for the messes in her house because it means her kids can play. And holy nelly. I'd love to have that attitude everyday!
I always considered myself a happy person. Sometimes i don't feel so happy. I have bad days, bad weeks, bad months. I don't do all the good things that i should all the time. I am quite the slacker. I lack motivation, i'm a procrastinator. BUT... That's just where i'm at right now.

I've realized that i can not do it all. No one can. And guess what? That is OK! Hallelujah! I love being a mom. That is true. I'm not a perfect mom. I feed my girls Kraft Dinner, i get impatient sometimes, i don't like letting them play with paint because the make a huge mess. But my love for them is perfect.

The important things are the little things. The little things are the big things. I need to remember to focus on the most important things and not let my dreams of 'doing it all' get in the way.