Sunday, June 30, 2013

Basket Case

Holy emotional train wreck today! And no, i am currently NOT pregnant. I was leading the music in church today and the opening song was O Canada. I have never gotten emotional singing our national anthem before.. but today was different. I'm far from home. I couldn't stop thinking about home. Then i started thinking about the awful flooding that has been going on in the Calgary area - especially the High River area. Lots of people from Cardston have been donating trailer loads and trailer loads of food, clothing, hygiene items, toys ect. Way over here on Statia we're hearing about it via Facebook and family. Three ladies in particular seem to have been heading up the relief. Shannon- i've taught her daughter dance in the past and was in one of Shannon's 'better-body-boot-camps', Letje- wicked awesome lady, so hardcore and cool, and Suzanne- my former AWESOME piano teacher. So during O Canada, my eyes were flooding but didn't overflow. Then i said the opening prayer. And that is where i lost it. I  thanked Heavenly Father for our home country and asked Him to bless it (with the flooding areas in mind in particular) Then I asked for a special blessing to be with a couple brethren in our group as their families have gone back home for a while. One of which being my old neighbour Katie. Holy Nelly. I seriously stood there trying to contain my self for approximately an HOUR. Ok not that long but it felt like forever. I hurried and closed my prayer and sat down. WELL then i had to lead the Sacrament hymn. Which was I Stand All Amazed. I just stood up there in front of everyone leading the music with my arm and not with my mouth. I couldn't sing. I had too many emotions and thoughts flowing through me. The previous mentioned and the fact that the girls and i will be leaving Josh here for a while as we go back home too. I'll have to work when i go home to pay for our flights back. (I'll mention here that the reason why we're going home in the first place is because i have a medical issue that needs to be taken care of.. to have it dealt with here would cost tickets to St. Maarten and a $1500 procedure... so the girls and i can fly home for $1500. So that's what we decided to do.) Anyhoo i'll be working full time at the Clinic...and as you can guess my sweet, angel, darling girls will not be able to come to work with me :( They will be in day care. Or as i like to call it, Jade Care, as my gracious friend Jade has offered to watch the girls for me. Bless her heart! My family will also be helping out where they can. Lucky to have such loving people in my life. Still the decision was so painful. I can't think about it for more than 5 seconds with crying. It's honestly so hard... So that on top of all the other things going on made for a great Sunday 'basket' showcase. Sigh. I must mention that i am very grateful that the clinic will be taking me back for a time-it is a wonderful place to work. But of course i would rather be at home with my girls where i'm supposed to be. Oooh. It really just breaks my heart. I'm sure i'll be a basket case at work for a few days too. I honestly couldn't even compose myself when i was standing up there today! I was covering my face with the hymn book at one point. Seriously, a basket case. OK! Well... prayers for me and my girls and Josh would be greatly appreciated. Props to all you moms out there. If you're at home with the kids, you are rockstars. If you're in a position where you need to be at work, i feel for you.
On a happier note! I took family photos for the awesome Erickson family yesterday. I let the borrow a few clothing items ect, for the photos and she handed me the bag of things and then Tiff said, " Oh, i think i forgot something." And she took a necklace off of her neck and put it around mine. It's a Statia blue bead! They gave it to me as a gift for doing their photos. I was so shocked and so excited!

Mommy and Fay <3
Mommy and Eden <3

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